


No More Sad Songs

by Draco_Rattus



Category: Arashi (Band)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-05
Updated: 2017-10-05
Packaged: 2019-01-09 09:14:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,258
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12273402
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Draco_Rattus/pseuds/Draco_Rattus
Summary: Sakurai Sho recently broke up with Ohno Satoshi, and it was less than amicable.  Even so, they have to meet at the studio to rehearse their new solo songs, and that's a difficult thing for Sho to do when he's not entirely sure that he wanted to break up in the first place...





	No More Sad Songs

It's been two weeks now since Sakurai Sho broke up with Ohno Satoshi. 

He hadn't meant it to happen, not really. The break-up, that is, not the relationship itself; Sho had fully intended for the two of them to get together in the first place, and more importantly, he had intended for it to last. Breaking up just feels like losing, and Sho _hates_ to lose. However, he also hates giving in, which was why he had stood his ground when Satoshi had challenged him over his determination to stay late at the studio in favour of heading home and getting some rest. He was being too hard on himself, Satoshi had told him, too focused on perfection with his career; it was about time he started to think more about his partner and his friends, his social life and his health.

Satoshi had been right, of course. Even Sho had noticed how tired he'd been becoming lately, how he'd been more susceptible to getting ill, not to mention the way his self-imposed long hours had been making him increasingly irritable. That was possibly why he'd snapped back at his partner, telling him he'd known exactly what he was getting himself into when they'd started dating, asking him if his supposed concern for his well-being was merely jealousy because he'd landed a part in a new drama recently. Not that Sho had genuinely thought that to be the case, but his temper had got the better of him and resulted in Satoshi calmly telling him that if he really wanted things to continue in this way, he'd have to choose between his lover or his work.

Sho had chosen his career.

After that, things had only got worse. Satoshi had seemed to retreat into his music more than ever, throwing himself into songwriting and developing the choreography which would accompany some of the new tracks for the upcoming album; how wonderfully hypocritical, Sho had thought, coming from a man who had told him that he'd been working himself too hard. Sho had barely even seen Satoshi since their split, which had been his choice, but apparently the distance he had created between them hadn't improved his mood one little bit. Not only that, but Sho had embarked on a series of ill-advised one-night-stands which had resulted in little more than self-hatred and the careful avoidance of a few tabloid headlines. The most painful thing for Sho had been that Satoshi hadn't even seemed to notice.

Perhaps he'll notice something today, though. The band are meeting at the studio to read over some songs for the new album, including some solos which have been mostly written for them but are awaiting a few finishing touches. Really, Sho is in no mood to try and push himself creatively today – sometimes it's easier to work on reading a script rather than coming up with a tune yourself – but work is work, and as Satoshi had pointed out, Sho is never one to back down from his career.

“Here's the notes for your solo.” Ninomiya Kazunari doesn't even look at Sho as he walks into the room; it's hardly surprising, considering how close the man is to Satoshi. They've always been best friends, and Kazunari's attitude towards Sho has noticeably cooled since the break-up. He does, however, hold out a piece of paper towards Sho, a sheet covered in lines of writing which is presumably one of the new tracks. “And before you ask, no, Satoshi didn't write it.”

“Like I'd care if he had,” Sho mutters, half to himself, as he retreats to the far side of the table and sits down, starting to read over the words. Interesting; it's different from his usual kind of style, a slow and almost morose tune, but despite that, he likes it anyway. He's never really been one for solo ballads before but somehow this just works, and he can already feel the beginnings of a rap starting to form in the back of his mind. “The team's really got a different feel in mind for this album, don't they?”

“Huh?” Kazunari looks up from what he's been reading – his own solo, Sho presumes. He doesn't bother to ask. “”Yeah, I guess so.”

“Jun and Masaki have got theirs too, right?”

“Yeah. They were here earlier.”

Sho nods in response, letting the conversation hang for a moment. He'd be lying if he said he didn't want to know about Satoshi's content for the album, but he's also too proud to directly ask. Kazunari doesn't say anything more, so Sho shrugs and goes back to reading his own song. Should have known Kazunari would side with Satoshi, he thinks. They always have been close. Maybe the two of them...

It's at that moment Satoshi himself walks into the room, openly smiling at Kazunari – who smiles back in response – before noticing Sho's presence, and then his smile visibly disappears. He mutters a greeting and manages a polite bow, but it's clear that his expression is strained, his movements tense and defensive.

“Sakurai-san.” Satoshi is back to being formal again. Fine. “Kazunari told me we were going to give the solos a run-through today.”

“You didn't write yours yourself?” There's a note of scathing sarcasm in Sho's voice, something which both of the other men pick up on, although they don't comment on it. “After the amount of time you've been spending locked away writing lately, I would have thought you'd at least have _some_ contribution.”

“It's better to have some mixed input when it comes to creating a variety of different styles.” Satoshi's tone is humble, guarded. “Besides, I'm not always the best at writing.” 

“No? You certainly seem to think so.” The words are out of Sho's mouth before he can even stop them, his voice dripping with sarcasm, and now that they've been said, he cannot take them back. He's not even sure where the animosity is coming from; jealousy, perhaps. Paranoia that there really is something going on between Satoshi and Kazunari. Frustration that Satoshi always did seem able to create things which are lyrically beautiful, whereas all he can manage are raps. “You're the best at singing. You're the best at writing. You're the best at dancing. You probably think you're better in bed than me too, don't you?”

“That's enough.” It's Kazunari's voice which calls a stop to his ranting – and if _he_ has the energy to sound annoyed, things really have gone too far. “If you've got spare breath to waste on insulting Satoshi, you've got spare breath to start practicing. Come on, let's go.”

Casting a stern glare towards Sho, Kazunari gets to his feet and with Satoshi in tow they head out of the room and towards one of the smaller ones down the corridor, rooms used for practicing and recording, leaving Sho on his own. Again, Sho can't help but wonder whether Kazunari is doing this so he can claim Satoshi for himself, but if he follows the two of them now that's only going to make him look pathetic desperate.

_Like I'd even care if Satoshi went off with Kazunari. Would I?_

But it feels more like he's trying to fool himself rather than anybody else. Frustrated by his emotions he carries on reading over the song he's been given, trying to lose himself instead in his work, wondering how he's going to manage making a ballad his own rather than singing his usual more modern compositions. Still, he tells himself, nobody is going to stop keep him from his rap.

=========================

It's over an hour before Kazunari returns alone, by which point Sho has had enough of trying to get to grips with his lyrics. He's pencilled out some rough ideas, but it's time now for a break; not only is he hungry, but he has no desire to be on his own in the room with Kazunari sullenly glaring at him. Sighing, he leaves the song lyrics on the table in front of him and makes his exit, heading down the corridor towards the canteen.

That's when he notices one of the most beautiful things he has ever heard in his life.

It's Ohno Satoshi, practicing his solo. He'd recognise the man's voice anywhere now; soft and smooth, yet with a plaintive quality which somehow tugs at his heart in a way which he'd really rather it didn't. He trips over the lyrics with style and grace, easily weaving an elegant melody from words which sound at first as though they don't belong, but when he forms them with his lips it's as though they should never have been anywhere else. 

_Why did I have to be so stubborn and pig-headed when we had that argument?_ Sho asks himself. _Why did I think I could be happy knowing that voice would speak somebody else's name rather than my own? Why did I put my pride above knowing that his heart was mine?_

It seems like a crime to break the spell which Satoshi has cast, but Sho knows that if he doesn't act now, he never will. Swallowing down his pride – and there's a lot of it to stomach – he pushes open the door to the room, closing it behind him as he steps inside, fully aware of the fact that Satoshi has stopped singing in order to turn and look at him. It's difficult to withstand that gaze; there's no hatred or malice within it, no bitterness or resentment. If anything, there is sadness and sorrow. Worst of all, there is pity.

“Sakurai-san.” Satoshi's voice sounds so flat now compared to when he was singing a few moments ago, quiet and resigned. “What do you want?”

“I want you.” Sho gets straight to the point, well aware of the way the words seem to catch as he speaks them. Clearing his throat, he tries again. “I want _you,_ Satoshi. I always did.”

Satoshi's face remains void of expression, although he raises an eyebrow, curious. Sho knows by now that it's his own way of indicating he should continue talking, and so he does, relieved that at least his recently ex-boyfriend is willing to hear him out. 

“Your voice...” Sho sighs and looks away, gathering his thoughts before turning back. “I've never heard you sing like that before. Never heard you sing a song that's so happy, so upbeat...”

 _It made me realise how much I've missed you,_ he wants to say. _It made me realise how meaningless my life has been without you in it. How cold and empty my bed has been, even when there were other men in it; even food hasn't tasted the same._ But somehow he can't quite summon up the strength to say these things, instead focusing on the three little words which are the hardest for him to say, but which mean so much.

“I was wrong.” That gets Satoshi's attention. “I made a mistake.”

“Sho-kun...” Satoshi slips back into their more informal, more intimate manner of speaking, taken aback by Sho's admission of failure. It's not like the man to admit his mistakes, certainly not up front like this. “You didn't---”

“I did.” Bolstered by Satoshi's use of his first name, Sho stumbles on. “I was being stubborn and bull-headed. I didn't really want to break up with you, Satoshi-kun. I never did. I just didn't want to give in, didn't want to seem weak, like I was submitting so easily...”

“You never do.” Satoshi is smiling, this time with warmth. “Are you drunk...?”

“Not yet.” 

And before Sho can change his mind or stop himself he steps in closer and wraps his arms around Satoshi, around the man he has so nearly lost; his mouth easily finds Satoshi's own, their lips meeting in the familiar way he has missed so much, the lips which form such beautiful words, the tongue which---

“Satoshi, I need your lyrics back.” The door opens; it's Kazunari, who steps into the room with a piece of paper in his hand. He hasn't yet looked up. “I got your songs mixed up. I gave Sakurai your solo, and you...”

Now he sees what's happening, takes in the sight of his band-mates caught in a less-than-subtle embrace, and he suddenly seems to forget what he was about to say.

“No.” Sho speaks instead, having pulled his mouth away from his once-again partner's in order to say something. “Let Satoshi have it.”

“Huh?”

“Satoshi can have that song.” Sho smiles at the man who is once again his lover. “It's about time he sang something happy for once.”

“You're sure?” Satoshi asks, looking back at Sho, then towards Kazunari, then back at Sho again. Even now, he remains polite and humble. “I don't want you to resent me for taking it away from you.”

“You're not taking it away from me.” Not even seeming to care that Kazunari is standing right there in front of them, Sho continues to hold Satoshi close. Maybe it's his own way of posessively showing Kazunari that Satoshi belongs to him, that their fight is now over. “It's brought me back to you, Satoshi-kun. I always want that song to be yours.”

It's true that Satoshi has always been close to Kazunari – they've looked after each other for years, helped each other through their heartbreaks, been there through good times and bad - but they've never been more than close friends. They're close enough, however, for Satoshi to realise that Kazunari switching their songs was certainly no mistake at all.


End file.
